Wednesday, 8 August 2012

Far Away in America

He is always happy, always happy when he isn't with me.
Have you ever thought why someone could not find a way to make it in a relationship with you but he found a way with someone else? To be honest I hadn't, but here I am now realising that he doesn't have  a problem with girls like my friends and I had concluded to but he had some kind of problem with me. I don't mean that he didn't like me because I know he did, for a small period but he did, he had admitted it back then. Maybe I was too short, too pale, too forward or too good for him but the result is the same... he was never willing to try to be with me.
Actually, he is the same guy I wrote about in my previous post and here I am, some months later, he still messes with my mind WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING. Maybe I should just get over the fact that no matter with who I am or what I do he will always have the power to do so whenever I see or hear about him. Is this normal though? He's miles away being the hippie he can't in England and just because he decided to play couple with some random girl from there I am here, 2 in the morning listening to the music he put on when we were together thinking what she has that I didn't.
Inevitably playing all of our times together in my head all over again I will admit to myself that maybe I am not completely over him, mainly because he was never completely into me so I kept wanting more (and still do).
He can go on, have as much fun he wants, be with as many other girls he want as long as whenever he sees me he gets that awkward blushing and that subtle sexy smile (he can bite his lower lip while looking at me if he wants to but that will cause too much a mess).

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